The following are actual excuse notes that parents sent to school: Please eckuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33. Please excuse Roland from P. E. for a few days. Yesterday, he fell from a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. Sandy and I won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have a funeral to attend.
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