NEW COMPANY POLICIES SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should …
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DILBERT PRINCIPLE TEST You may be wondering if you fit the description of a Dilbert Principle manager. Here’s a little test: 1.Do you believe that anything you don’t understand must be easy to do? 2.Do you feel the need to explain in great detail why “profit” is the difference between income and expense? 3.Do you …
IN PRISON OR AT WORK So you wonder why you can’t accomplish more at work. Here are some possible explanations: IN PRISON…you spend the majority of your time in an 8×10 cell. AT WORK…you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle. IN PRISON…you get three meals a day. AT WORK…you only get a …
FIRED WITH ENTHUSIASM Dr. Clark Kerr, director Carnegie Commission on Higher Education, recalling his dismissal as president of the University of California: I left the presidency as I entered it, fired with enthusiasm.
NAME YOUR BOSS The folks in the Cincinnati Zoo are giving workers a chance to celebrate Boss Day by likening their boss to an animal for a five dollar nomination fee. “It struck me one day reading through the list of animals at the zoo that they reminded me incredibly of some bosses I’ve known …
TOO TOUGH TO KEEP A burly construction foreman lined up his crew and told them, “The first thing I want you fellows to know is that I can lick any man in this gang.” A husky young man stepped forward and said “you can’t lick me.” The foreman looked him over carefully and replied, “You’re …
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JOBS BOARD As our economy continues to worsen and the unemployment situation follows, we are finding that there are a number of people in our church that are out of work that we are not even aware of. We also discover that others have work available that those needing work may never hear about. Consequently, …
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LOVE MY JOB QUIZ 1. OUR BENEFITS PROGRAM IS… a. more than a little generous. b. fair and impartial. c. all the rubber bands you can stuff down your pants. 2. IF THE OFFICE WERE ON FIRE, I’D IMMEDIATELY GRAB… a. important files and key documents. b. valuable machinery. c. some jumbo marshmallows and a …
BOZO BOSSES The originator of “Dilbert” comic strip, Scott Adams, shares a few of the stories that his readers sent in to him about their own bosses: An impatient and frustrated boss was sitting in front of his computer. One of his employees walked over to ask him what the problem was. The boss blurted, …
DILBERT PRINCIPLE The following is a portion of an article by Scott Adams, the creator of the cartoon, “Dilbert.” The article, “The Dilbert Principle” from The Wall Street Journal, Monday, May 22, 1995, describes the transition in the work place from the Peter Principle (promoting beyond one’s skills) to the Dilbert Principle (promoting someone without …
TOUGH TRAVEL POLICY Editor’s Note: I have seen several versions of this travel policy. A friend of mine gave this to me at a travel management meeting a few years ago. It’s a bit extreme but perhaps you can revise it slightly to work for your situation. CORPORATE TRAVEL POLICY Due to the current financial …
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JOB THOUGHTS Things you wish you could say at work: I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good for you? I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter. I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant. If I throw a stick, will you …