CHEAP DICTIONARY One hindrance to a healthy self-image is the fear of failure – the inability to admit that we are wrong. Such was the case with two men in a restaurant. They were enjoying their conversation, when one of the men used the word “perogative.” The other man mentioned that the word was pronounced …
CLASSIC CHURCH BULLETIN BLOORS While wasting some time on the Internet, I came across some church bulletin bloopers that were previously found on the Internet by Pastor Dale Johnsen of Ahtanum Pioneer Church in Yakima, Washington. I gleaned a few of his longer list of favorites to share with you. If you want to read …
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WHEN CRIME PAYS TOO MUCH The annual Darwin Awards are always a fun way to realize there are people more stupid than the rest of the human race which probably includes you and me. Here is one in which a person cannot help but feel sorry for the unfortunate thief: When a man attempted to …
FORGOT YOU FORGAVE To err is human, To forgive takes restraint. To forget you forgave, Is the work of a saint. By Suzanne Douglass
JELLY TOAST PROCLAMATION The Christmas program was just one week away, and the little girl was practicing her songs. Her mother overheard her daughter in the other room practicing “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” As the mother listened a little more carefully she found that while the tune was good, the words were a little …
TECHNOLOGY ERRORS You think the Y2K problem is bad…. In March, 1992 a man living in Newton (near Boston), Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following …
BAD BOOKS Last year, the Texas educational bureaucracy recently reviewed and approved a new set of textbooks for the public school system. A group of parents, concerned about the information their children were coming home with, conducted their own review. They found 231 errors, including such more-than-bloopers like Napoleon winning the battle of Waterloo, President …
ADVICE REJECTED It’s a shame really, that human beings are so lousy at taking advice. There must be some sort of biological nerve ending in our brains that sends an alarm off whenever advice filters into our consciouesness and tells us: “Reject, blunder on your own.” From Chicago Tribune, February 28, 1990, “Most People Immune …
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SELLING OUT SPELLING A teen-age tourist approached a business man in a busy section of Denver, Colorado. He asked the man if he could help him find a place. He continued, “I think it starts with an ‘S’.” The businessman thought for a moment and asked, “The Civic Center?” The teenager exclaimed, “That’s it!” Proper …
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MULTIMILLIONAIRE FOR A DAY Howard Jenkins of Tampa, Florida had fun as a multimillionaire, even making a four million dollar withdrawal during his lunch break. Why? Because it was there — after a bank’s computer error put eighty-eight million dollars in his account. Jenkins’ brief stint as a rich man started when he lost his …
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TO ERR & ADMIT Shakespeare — or somebody literate and famous — rephrased: To err is human; to admit it, superhuman Doug Larson, UFS
ERRANT ERASERS To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.
NAVAL NON- MESSAGES I received a letter the other day from the U. S. Navy. The Navy was trying to recruit me to their chaplaincy program. On the bottom of the letter was this disclaimer: “The Navy uses commercial mailing lists in its recruiting efforts. Such lists sometimes contain errors which cannot be identified before …
ERRANT ADS The following material is taken from Classified Comics, by James Cummings: 1981 Cadillac. Owner fully loaded, needs new owner. Roger’s Radiator Repair. Best Place in Town to Take a Leak. Mobile Home. Newly Decorated. Kitchen Built In. Sink Can Sleep 3. (Real Estate Ad) If you’re looking for a bachelor cad, call me. …
MISPLACED SPACE A space can be a dangerous thing. One church secretary realized the “misplaced space” problem when she picked up her bulletin on Sunday morning–the one she had typed on Thursday morning. She read: “Refreshments after the sermon will be gin at 10 a.m.”
FIRST RULE OF HOLES The first rule of holes is: When you’re in one, stop digging! From Gene Sikkink, Arizona City, Arizona
PAGAN SLL CHECKS Be wary of the advice of pagans. For example, a routine spell check from a computer’s word processor attempts to “lead us astray” concerning the sacred titles of books of the Bible with the following erroneous suggestions: PHILIPPIANS Philippines PHILEMON phi lemon JUDE judo EZRA era HOSEA hoes Who knows what evil …
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