Tests

Eternity | Hell | Knowledge | Science | Story | Tests | Torment | Truth | Understanding | Youth

HOW HOT IS HELL? – -reported as a true story from a Yale professor A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs …

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Answers | Child | Children | Communication | Discipleship | Health | Humor | Ideas | Knowledge | Perspective | School | Short Shorts | Tests | Trial | Understanding

ELEVEN-YEAR- OLDS’ SCIENCE TESTS: The following answers are from science exams taken by eleven-year-olds: “Water is composed of two gins: Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.” “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.” “H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.” “To collect …

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Aging | Appearance | Appearances | Children | Discipleship | Family | Humor | Intelligence | Perceptions | Tests | Understanding

GRANDMA’S COLORS I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, …

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Business | Cheating | Deceit | Foolishness | Honesty | Humor | Mistakes | Tests | Trial | Youth

ALMOST IDENTICAL ANSWERS Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The …

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Children | Comparisons | Father | Humor | Leadership | Memory | Politics | Presidents | Remembering | Tests | Trial

THE SHORT LIST OF PRESIDENTS After reviewing the dismal results of his son’s test on the American presidents, the father turned to his son and said, “I am ashamed of you! When I was your age I could name all the presidents in order!” The son was not impressed and answered, “But Dad, when you …

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Character | Courage | Humor | Manhood | Men | Qualifications | Risk | Service | Tests | Training

QUALIFYING PARATROOPERS After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, the recruit eagerly asked his Recruiter what he could expect from jump school. “Well,” he said, “it’s three weeks long.” “What else,” he asked. “The first week they separate the men from the boys,” he said. “The second week, they separate the men from the fools.” …

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Children | Discipleship | Education | Failure | Grades | Knowledge | School | Tests | Trial | Youth

LOWEST GRADE A student approached his teacher and complained, “You gave me a zero on my essay! I don’t think I deserve a zero.” The teacher took the essay from the student, looked at it briefly, and answered, “I agree, you don’t deserve a zero for this essay. The problem is, that’s the lowest grade …

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Children | Geography | Humor | Knowledge | Prayer | School | Self | Tests

CAPITAL OF MISSOURI A mother was listening to her little boy say his prayers. “Thank you, Father, for Mommy, Daddy… and please make St. Louis the Capital of Missouri.” His surprised mother asked, “Why did you pray for St. Louis to be the capital of Missouri?” “Because that’s the answer I put on my test.”

Anatomy | Athletes | Body | Failure | Humor | Knowledge | Mistakes | Sports | StorySports | Tests | Understanding

ANATOMICAL VOWELS According to former line coach Pat Boland of the Iowa Hawkeyes, a football player taking an anatomy test wrote, “The anatomy is divided into three parts: the head, the chest and the abdomen. The head houses the brain and eyes; the chest houses the lungs, heart and liver; the abdomen houses the vowels …

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Discipleship | Humor | Knowledge | Responses | School | Students | Teachers | Tests

WHO, ME? The English teacher asked Ted to name two pronouns. Taken aback and without the answer, Ted answered, “Who, me?!? Without hesitation, the teacher agreed, “That’s correct, Ted. You’re doing much better in this class.” Adapted from a submission by William L. McDonald, Cathedral Community Church, Mauldin, South Carolina

Chemical Abuse | Drivers | Drunks | Excuses | Failure | Honesty | Law | Reasons | Responsibility | Tests | Trial

UNHEALTHY DRUNK A man left a bar, got into his car and drove away. He was soon stopped by a police officer. The officer explained that he was testing drivers for drunken driving. “Would you please blow into this machine?” The driver answered, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I have asthma. If I blow …

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