IF YOU LOVE, YOU EAT This timeless truth from the book the Walking Drum was shared by Barbara Lyons of Chelmsford, Massachusetts: It has occurred to me that a man need know but two sentences to survive. The first is to ask for food; the second to tell a woman he loves her. If he …
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COMMUNICATION LINE IS BUSY It’s not that the husband does not want to reach out to his wife, but somehow there is interference. “I wanted to get in touch with her feelings,” declared one social worker, “but since she was constantly getting in touch with her own feelings, the line was always busy.” From an …
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FAMILY PRIORITIES The American male at home. Quick, which images come to mind? Football, beer, TV? Nope. Nope. Nope. According to a random phone survey conducted for Spiegel, Inc., American men are more interested in romance than in running backs, suds or sitcoms. The nationwide survey, called “Americans on the Home Front,” reports that men’s …
HUSBAND PRESERVATION The Chicago Tribune, on October 1, 1994, reprinted a letter to Ann Landers that included a recipe called “How to Preserve a Husband.” Here’s a copy for those looking for a new dish: How to Preserve a Husband First, use care in selection. Get one that is not too young, but tender and …
THE VIRTUOUS MODERN WOMAN If any woman survived Proverbs 31 without experiencing guilt, this modern version is sure to do her in: Who can find a suitable suburban wife, for her worth is far above secretary or cleaning woman. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, whether with eligible bachelor or high-pressure …
FEMINIST TRANSFORMATIONS Some of us are becoming the men we want to marry. Gloria Steinem in Ms. We have used the following story, but this one is different. It has a different ending, and it is a pretty cute ending. This was
BEING A HOUSEWIFE In the excellent book, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, James Dobson looks at the negative stigma that has been attached by our society to stay-at-home moms. He compares the phenomenon to a fictitious stigma attached to dentists. He supposes that it became very unpopular to be a dentist. Magazines …
MARK TWAIN ON WIFE-BEATING When I was in London twenty-three years ago there was a new penalty in force for diminishing garroting and wife-beating – 25 lashes on the bare back with the cat-o’- nine-tails. It was said that this terrible punishment was able to bring the stubbornest ruffians to terms; and that no man …
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50 CREATIVE DATING IDEAS 1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities for each room. 2. Write the story of how you met. Get it printed and bound. 3. List your spouse’s best qualities in alphabetical order. 4. Tour a museum or an art gallery. 5. notice the little changes your spouse …
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HUSBANDS COMMANDED TO LOVE Four times in the Bible God commands the husband to love his wife. Not once does He command the wife to love her husband. God made the man and his wife so that if the man would love his wife, the woman would respond to that love and she will.
DECISION-MAKING HUSBAND A husband once explained how he was the head of his household and took care of the major decisions: “I make all the big decisions in our family and my wife makes all the little decisions. She decides where we go on vacation, whether to buy a new car, what house we are …
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FIRST-ROUND WIFE CHOICE You can be sure a man has an addiction to football when he refers to his wife as his “first-round draft choice.” From the Christian Word, sponsored by Downtown Baptist Church of Oklahoma City
HOW TO COOK A HUSBAND A good many husbands are entirely spoiled by mismanagement in cooking, and so are not tender and good. Some women keep them too constantly in hot water; others freeze them; others put them in a stew; others keep them constantly in a pickle. It cannot be supposed that any husband …
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MARITAL SCISSORS Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. — Sydney Smith
MOTHER DID NOT COME A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. “Yes,” she replied readily. “Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.”
CONVERSATIONAL FINISH Brutus Thornapple, the Born Loser, is sitting in his easy chair reading the paper and occasionally saying, “Uh-huh . . . yeah…” His wife Gladys says, “Brutus dear, you can stop with the ‘yeahs’ and ‘uh-huhs’ . . . I finished talking ten minutes ago!” From “The Born Loser,” by Art & Chip …
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SILENT HUSBANDS A boy comes home and tells his father that he got a part in the school play. The father asks him what role he was to play. The boy says, “I get to be the husband.” The father answers, “You go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking …
TOO WILLING TO HELP A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” A few days later he received several letters that all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
A MORE PERFECT FIT One woman complimented another: “That dress is the most perfect fit I have ever seen.” The other replied: “You should have seen the one my husband had when he saw the bill for it.” From Smiles
THREE WIVES A sheriff in a small western court rose to testify against a prisoner. “What’s this feller here charged with?” the judge demanded. “Bigotry, judge,” answered the sheriff. “He’s got three wives.” “Three!” snorted the judge. “Why you ignoramus, that ain’t bigotry. That’s trigonometry.”From Rotarian