Christmas | Cooking | Failure | Food | Humor | Mistakes | Poetry | Trial

THE COOK BEFORE CHRISTMAS ‘
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Roared the flames from my kitchen
Too many to douse
My oven exploded
I started to run
Then I realized that just meant
My cookies were done
My hot apple turnovers
Also looked grim
After seven whole hours
Of flame-broiling them
My mince pie looked great
An out- in-out hit.
But it took a chain saw
To cut into it
And I thought my hot bread
Had reached a new high
‘Til the flies took a whiff
And dropped out of the sky
My gelatin
mold Seemed to never get done
And my homemade pound cake
Weighed more like a ton
And what did my cranberry
Coffee cake lack
That so many ants
would bring the crumbs back?/So maybe I’ll just pass