VALIDATION OF CHILDREN
Markman says he finds it amazing that “the amount of validation, empathy and support that people communicate and exchange doesn’t predict well to anything. However, the amount of invalidation, the amount of criticisms, put-downs and indifference that is exchanged, is one of the best predictors for divorce.” “It’s the “worst-case scenario,” he says, “when you’re expecting something positive and you’re getting something negative.” And it happens frequently: Just ask the wife who spends hours sorting through the household bills, only to get yelled at for not buying stamps. Or ask the husband who works to organize the cluttered hallway closet, only to get chastised for making a mess in the process. “You know,” she adds, “if people were willing to do half the work before they get divorced that they have to do after they get divorced, I think there would be a lot fewer divorces. From the Chicago Tribune, November 14, 1990
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