SUFFERING SELF-CONTRADICTION
Because of the many contradictions such Christians find in their lives, they feel a loss of their own unique selfhood. There is such a chasm between who they are and who they ought to be meaning, who they ought to be because they are Christians, that the pain is unbearable. They become so alienated from the self they deeply dislike that they try to deny its existence. But it keeps asserting itself to remind them of its presence. This comes out in statements such as, “I know all the answers, but they’re only in my head. I don’t really feel them in my heart. I tell others of Christ, but at a gut level I don’t feel or live the Christian life. I’m scared to find out who I am, and terrified to let others know what I’m really like.” Of course, such self-contradiction drains both their desire and their power to effectively witness for Christ. Or if they do so out…
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