From Duty To Delight

The richest and meanest old man in town was dying. Although he had never contributed to the Church from his considerable wealth, nevertheless he called for the local parish priest. When the priest arrived, the dying man said that he would give one hundred thousand dollars to the Church if the priest would guarantee his entrance into the Heavenly Kingdom. “No, I cannot do that,” said the priest. “Neither I nor any other human being can guarantee you heaven in return for a one hundred thousand dollar gift to the Church.” Then, with a slight twinkle in his eye, the priest added, “But it’s worth a try!”

Then there is the story of the Texas oilman who arrived full of hope at the Gate of Heaven only to hear St. Peter tell him that the quota for Texas oilmen had been filled. “The only way you can get in,” said St. Peter, “is if some of the other oilmen who are already here decide…