DESIGNATED DECOY
A police officer is waiting across the street from a bar parking lot late on a Saturday night, watching for drunks trying to drive home. After a short wait, one particularly sad case stumbles out the door with the front of his shirt soaked. He is bleary-eyed, confused, and he wanders to the parking lot looking for his car. He locates his car, fumbles for his keys, bumps his head while getting into the car, and drives off, bumping the curb on the way. Of course he doesn’t get very far at all before the police officer is on him, and he immediately pulls over. The police officer has him step out of the car, sizes him up, and administers several field sobriety tests. The driver seems to have considerable difficulty understanding some of these tests. The driver fails all the tests miserably: he can’t touch his nose, he can’t walk straight, he can’t stand on one foot, and he can’t recite…
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