AN ALTERNATIVE DICTIONARY:
Perfect Man: The one your wife keeps on saying she could have married. Politician: Someone going both ways at a fork in the road. Professional: Builder of the Titanic. Amateur: Builder of the Ark. Snap Judgment: Better reserved for a photographer. Rush Hour: Time tied up in gridlock. Today: The tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Unicorn: An animal you never play leap-frog with. — Wayne B. Hemphill) Class reunion: A gathering where you come to the conclusion that most of the people your own age are a lot older than you are. Conscience: A walkie-talkie set by which God speaks to us. Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have YOUR own way. Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed. Opera: Where a guy stabbed in the back, instead of bleeding, sings. — J. David Smith
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