WRONG CHEMISTRY
Here are ten excellent ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab: 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing this sound to others in the class. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?” 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as “KKK.” 7. Mutter repeatedly, “Not again… not again… not again.” 6. When it’s very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!” 5. Deny the existence of chemicals. 4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. 3. Fill a beaker with water and dry ice. Then casually drink from it during a lecture. 2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid. 1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
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