ONE SURVIVOR After crawling into Grandpa's lap, little Freddie asked, 'Were you in the ark, Grandpa?' The grandfather chuckled, 'Why no, Son, I wasn't." The youngster persisted, "Then why weren't you drowned?" From Sword of…
Sermon Illustrations
TIME TO WATCH YOUR STEP "By the time some men learn to watch their step, they are too old to go anywhere."
THE OLD GOAT The young couple invited their parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat", the little boy replied.…
TIME FOR TEETH A couple had been married for 50 years. "Things have really changed," she said. "You used to sit so close to me." "Well, I can remedy that," he said, moving next to…
NO CHANGE WITH AGE In our day, as in Bible times, most people in their old age have about the same qualities they had when younger. Old age does not by itself make people more…
AGELESS HONESTY Man is the only creature who spends two-thirds of his lifetime saving up for old age, and the last third denying that it has arrived.
MIDDLE AGES FATHER "I don't know how old my Mom is but my Dad is in the middle ages." From a Dennis the Menace Cartoon
AGE AND PLATEAUS A friend of mine describes old age as that time when we run in circles around the last plateau we reach. He says that throughout life we are climbing from one plateau…
FORGET THE EYE EXAM It had been many years since my last eye exam, and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged, the more I procrastinated. Finally, she made…
MAKING THE AGE A comedian talking about growing older says that when we're young, every year and even parts of the year count. You can't wait to get older. There's something mystical about being older.…
AGE OLD BARGAIN I am more athletically inclined than my husband and frequently engage in biking, canoeing and other strenuous activities. Several years ago, when my husband was 60, he came inside after a day…
BIRTHDAY MEMORIES When reproached by his wife for forgetting her birthday, the husband had an appropriate response. He replied, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?" Adapted…
ANDY ON TROUBLE "Andy, what do you do when trouble comes your way?" Amos asked on an old radio show years ago. "I just shut my eyes until it goes away" was the ready answer.…
LIFE PLAYED BACKWARDS Life is tough. It takes a lot of your time, All your weekends, And what do you get at the end of it? ...Death, a great reward. I think that the life…
SINGING HIM There was an elderly woman who was a true saint of God in her long life of devotion. She knew much of the Bible by heart and would repeat long passages from memory.…
CONFIDENCE Larry King told about an interview that a reporter had with the great baseball player Ty Cobb when he was 70. On Ty Cobb's seventieth birthday a reporter interviewed this great hitter. The reporter…
HOSTILITY AND HEALTH A series of long-term epidemiological studies support the theory that hostility can be lethal. In two studies begun in the 1960s, 155 medical students and 118 law students were given standard personality…
LIVING BODIES A young man lives through his body, an old man lives against it. From Men in Mid-life Crisis, by Jim Conway
LIFE TO YEARS OR YEARS TO LIFE No one outside divinity schools is seeking eternal life. Rather, they are trying to understand why human life span seems to be capped at about 120 years, why…
GROWING UP AND GROWING OLD We spend about one-quarter of our lives growing up and three-quarters growing old. By Gail Sheehy, Passages, New York: Dutton, 1976, from Men in Mid-life Crisis, by Jim Conway