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SIGNS OF THE TIMES
At an auto body shop: “May we have the next dents?” In a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” On a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.” At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.” On a scientist’s door: “Gone Fission” On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.” In a podiatrist’s window: “Time wounds all heels.” On a butcher’s window: “Pleased to meat you.” On a fence: “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.” At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment.” Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.” Outside a hotel: “Help! We need inn- experienced people.” In a dry cleaner’s emporium: “Drop your pants here.” In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!…

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