YOU MIGHT BE A SOUTHERN BAPTIST
You might be a Southern Baptist if. . . You think John the Baptist was from the south; You think God’s presence is strongest in the last row of pews; You think Amazing Grace is the national anthem; You judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat on the preacher and the number of amens from the congregation; You know that fellowship has something to do with food; You have no doubt that the Apostle Paul spoke in King James English or at least prayed that way; You think that worship music has to be loud and from the hymn book; You are convinced that Jesus used Welch’s grape juice and Saltine crackers at the last supper; You assume it was a good sermon by its length–not its content; You wake up in the middle of the night with a craving for fried chicken and conclude that this is a call to preach; You figure…
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