CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT THE WEATHER
To avoid offending anybody, the schools dropped religion altogether from their Christmas programs and started singing about weather. At my son’s school, they now hold the Winter Program in February and sing increasingly nonmemorable songs such as “Winter Wonderland,” “Frosty the Snowman,” and–this is a real song–“Suzy Snowflake,” all of which is pretty funny, because we live in Miami. A visitor from another planet would assume that the children belong to the Church of Meteorology. — Dave Berry
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