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CHURCH SIGNS
“Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!” “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.” “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!” An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.” When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.” “Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons — come hear one!” A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.” “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!” “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.” “Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.” “Dusty Bibles lead to…

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