ANGUISHED ENGLISH
by Richard Lederer Student bloopers worthy of “Pullet Prizes: — I expected to enjoy the film, but that was before I saw it. — It is bad manners to break your bread and roll in your soup. — The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes w and y. — The Gorgons had long snakes in their hair. They looked like women, only more horrible. — H2O is hot water, CO2 is cold water. — Rural life is lived mostly in the country. Excuse letters from moms and dads: — John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. — Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. — Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. — Please excuse my son’s tardiness. I forgot to wake him up, and I did not find him till I started…
To view this resource, log in or sign up for a subscription plan
