CATHOLIC DEFINITIONS AMEN:
The only part of prayer everyone knows. BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync. HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range. RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. INCENSE: Holy Smoke! JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. JONAH: The original “Jaws” story. JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an…
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