GRIDIRON GLOSSARY
In a never-ending effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfamiliar terminology into familiar football phrases. Blocking: Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting. Draft Choice: The decision to sit close to an air-conditioning vent. Extra Point: What you receive when you tell the preacher his sermon was too short. Face Mask: Smiling and saying everything is fine when it isn’t. Forward Motion: The invitation at an evangelistic service. Illegal Use of Hands: Clapping at an inappropriate point in the service. Illegal Motion: Leaving before the benediction. In the Pocket: Where some church members keep God’s tithe. Quarterback: What tightwads want after putting fifty cents in the offering. Running backs: Those who make repeated trips to the rest room. Two-Minute Warning: The chairman of the board looking at his watch in full view of the preacher. By William Ellis, Lay Leadership III, 42-43
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