CHURCH STAFF JOB DESCRIPTIONS PASTOR:
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. More powerful than a locomotive. Faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives counsel to God. ASSOCIATE PASTOR: Able to leap short buildings in a single bound. As powerful as a switch engine. Just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water when the sea is calm. Talks with God. MINISTER OF MUSIC: Leaps short buildings with a running start. Almost as powerful as a switch engine. Faster than a speeding BB. Is occasionally addressed by God. Walks on water if she knows where the stumps are. MINISTER OF YOUTH: Runs into small buildings. Recognizes locomotive 2 out of 3 times. Uses a squirt gun. Knows how to use the water fountain. Mumbles to himself. CHURCH SECRETARY: Lifts building to walk under them. Kicks locomotives off the track. Catches speeding bullets in her teeth. Freezes water with a single glance. When God speaks, she says, “May I ask…
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