FOLLY OF FITNESS
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where she is. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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