THE PRODIGAL SON — THE VALLEY BIBLE PARAPHRASE
So like there was this old dude who had two sons. The youngest one was like, you know, a total babe fer sure, fer sure; the older one was a terminal zod. So this young dude is like freakin’ out, like totally bored and stuff cuz there was nothin’ to do, like nothin’. So he goes to his old man and sez, “Like I’m sure I’m gonna stick aroun’ this hole the rest of my life, like gag me with a spoon. I mean barf me out. I want my share of your mega-bucks, and I’m talkin’ now, so I can split and go pig out, and like disco all nite till I’m tweeked.” So his daddy coughs up his share of the family bucks and like this young babe goes totally spaz fer sure and scarfs down a ton of doritos, rolfing all night long till he’s totally bagged out. So he lands himself a…
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