A third-grader was asked to write a theme for school on the topic, “What is a Grandma?” She said, “A grandma is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people’s little girls. A grandpa is a man grandma. He goes for walks with boys and talks about fishing and stuff. Grandmas don’t have anything to do except be there. Grandmas drive you to the supermarket where the pretend-horse is and they have lots of dimes ready. Or if they take you for walks, they slow down past pretty leaves and caterpillars.

Grandmas never say, ‘hurry up.’ Sometimes grandmas are fat, but not too fat to tie kids’ shoes. Grandmas wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take their teeth and gums off. They answer questions like, ‘Why do dogs hate cats?’ and ‘How come God isn’t married?’ When they read to us, they don’t skip words or mind if it’s the same story again. Everybody should try to…

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