AGING Middle Age is when you have two temptations -- and you choose the one that will get you home by nine. President Ronald Reagan
Sermon Illustrations
TRUE HUNGER "I'm so hungry I could eat the last of an endangered species."
CRITICISM When someone says, "I hope you won't mind my telling you this," you can be sure you will.
GOSSIP It isn't the things that go in one ear and out the other that hurt as much as the things that go in one ear, get all mixed up and then slip out the…
CRITICISM Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship. Plato
GRATITUDE If you haven't all the things you want, be grateful for all you don't have that you don't want. Marty Radcliff
PRUDENCE Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river. Cordell Hull in Bits and Pieces
MENTAL HEALTH Do you realize that one in every four Americans is unbalanced? Think of your three closest friends. If they seem okay, you're the one! Ann Landers
VACATION A vacation is that brief period of time between trying to get ahead so you can leave and trying to catch up when you get back. Jim Vorsas, Saratoga
LIBERACE'S LINE "Go ahead and stare. I don't dress this way to go unnoticed." From Tom Shea's article in the May 21, 1984 issue of InfoWorld
LIMITED VALUE OF A SMILE Have you noticed that in a really heavy rainstorm a smile turns out to be a lousy umbrella -- no matter what the song says? Adapted from a cartoon B.…
FALSE HOPES Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than one good watermelon at the beginning of the season. Adapted from Funny, Funny World
MODERN MUSIC The trouble with a lot of songs you hear nowadays is that somebody forgot to put them to music. Jim Vorsas, Saratoga
SUCCESS The greatest help to a man struggling to succeed is to look as if he has already succeeded.
GOOD MANNERS Even folks with bad manners know how to be polite to those who can do something for them.
RIGHTS As precious as the right to speak is the right not to listen. Jim Vorsas, Saratoga, California 95070
THE STATE OF EDUCATION Thanks to the popularity of loafers and buckle shoes they don't have to conduct classes in remedial shoe-tying for incoming freshmen. Funny, Funny World
MONEY/FRIENDS Money can't buy you friends, but your enemies treat you a little better.
MONETY/HAPPINESS Money can't buy happiness, we're told. But a lot of people would like the chance to prove it for themselves.
PLAN B I have a very fine doctor. If you can't afford the operation, he touches up the x-rays. Henny Youngman
