BEST WAY TO DO THINGS Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
Sermon Illustrations
WRONG TIME TO WHISPER A woman and her four-year-old son where at church. Her son yells out, "Mommy I have to go potty." She says, "Shhhh, we don't say that. We say 'I have to…
PARENTS OF ISRAEL At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't…
FEELING HIS OAT BRAN "I didn't realize that I was getting old until yesterday. I was in my car waiting for my wife to come out of the grocery store, and when I saw this…
BAD MEAT "Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you." -- Steven Wright
BOOKS TO DIGEST "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested." -- Francis Bacon
MEANING OF GOLF Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
MY OWN EPITAPH He was an average guy who could carry a tune. - BING CROSBY Excuse my dust. - DOROTHY PARKER On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. - W.C. FIELDS I'll be…
FLIGHT TO BEAUTY We fly to beauty as an asylum from the terrors of finite nature. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson From the Emerson Journals, 1836, by Ralph Waldo Emerson
SAVING & KILLING TIME Modern man thinks he loses something--time--when he does not do things quickly; yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains--except kill it. From The Art of…
SIMPLE GIFT It's a gift to be simple, It's a gift to be free, It's a gift to come down where we ought to be, And when we see ourselves in a way that's right,…
LIVELY ACTING Yogi Berra is said to have made the comment, having seen a Steve McQueen movie: "He must have made that before he died."
ALWAYS WORKING A lawyer who was known for his shrewdness was approached by an acquaintance and asked, "If I pay you a thousand dollars, will you give honest answers to two questions?" "I most certainly…
LIFE GOES ON In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on. -- Robert Frost
YOUTHFUL REASONING ADVANTAGE Parents have a distinct disadvantage in reasoning with their teens; they are not young enough to know everything. Similar to "TOO OLD TO KNOW IT ALL," in the May of 1996 issue…
FAST TURTLE CRIME A snail got beaten up by two turtles. When he went to the police they asked him, "Did you get a good look at the turtles that beat you up?" He said,…
SLEEPING STOCK MARKET Two stock market investors were discussing their strategies in the stock market. One investor had diversified his stocks and had recently taken some minor losses. The second man had invested heavily in…
LONG TIME LOST I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days. -- Daniel Boone
GETTING ENOUGH G. K. Chesterton once said, "There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more; the other is to desire less.
Aging | Change | Giftedness | Gifts | Growth | Maturity | Sanctification | Self | Short Shorts | Sin
MORE LIKE OURSELVES We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves. -- May Lamberton Becker
