CATERPILLAR CONFUSION While vacationing on Orcas Island, I sat one morning looking out the picture window in our little cabin by the sea. On the deck was a picnic table, and on top of the…
Sermon Illustrations
BOTH RETURNED The physician phoned one of his delinquent patients, "Mrs. Taylor," he said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your check just came back." "So did my arthritis," she replied. And hung up.…
MAYFLOWER RENAMED Thanksgiving was nearing when our son came home from kindergarten, eager to tell what he'd learned about the Pilgrims. "They sailed across the ocean to find freedom in America," David declared thoughtfully. "And…
A SUITABLE FUTURE A college student was seen riding his bicycle across campus. On the front of his sweatshirt he had written his goal: "FUTURE DOCTOR!" As the student rode by, a sign could be…
HOW TO KEEP A SECRET The only way to keep a secret among three people is for two of them to be dead.
LINCOLN ON CRITICISM If I were to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know…
A HUNDRED DOLLAR WISH A man on the street said, "I'd be happy if only I had $100." A person passing by who heard him handed him $100. The man who received the $100 said,…
HUMOR PERSPECTIVE A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that makes you mad if it happens to you. Adapted from Ministry Advantage, May - June, 1993, published by Fuller Evangelistic Association
STAND BY YOUR PERSON Treat your spouse better than anyone else in the world, not worse. Pay attention to details. Great lovers are not made in bed. It is the kind word, the unexpected note,…
EVEN WHEN IT'S PAINFUL As two men were walking through a field one day, they spotted an enraged bull. Instantly, they darted toward the nearest fence. The storming bull followed in hot pursuit, and it…
Confession | Deceit | Introspection | Judgment | Life | Lost | Preparation | Repentance | Self | Sin
LET YOURSELF GO There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to condemn the rest of us.…
BEING ORDINARY While it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfillment in being ordinary. There are no managers or agents to pave the way. Instead, we are on individual quests…
MORALITY IN THE FAMILY We are morally bankrupt if we cannot stand in front of our children and say that safe sex is when girls keep their pants on and when boys keep their zippers…
THE FRUIT OF PUBLIC PRAISE Sow praise for another in public, and reap a loyal friend in private.
Character is what God and the angels know of us; reputation is what men and women think of us. Horace Mann From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990
The so-called new morality is too often the old immorality condoned. Lord Shawcross From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990
In great matters, men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are. Gamaliel Bradford From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990
"Fault finding is a lot like window washing. All the dirt seems to be on the other side". Walt Reynolds, Baltimore, Maryland From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990+
When a man sells 11 ounces for 12, he makes a compact with the devil, and sells himself for the value of an ounce. Henry Ward Beecher From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990
I never knew an auctioneer to lie, unless it was absolutely necessary. Josh Billings From The Progressive Farmer, September, 1990
