GOD'S FUSS OVER PRUNES A little boy refused to eat his prunes, so his mother told the lad that God was angry with him and sent him to bed. Soon after the boy went to…
Sermon Illustrations
ALIMONY VENGEANCE Banks have long printed checks in a wide spectrum of colors, some have offered checks with floral or scenic backgrounds. The modest-sized Bank of Marin in Marin Country, California, has gone one step…
EXPERIENCE & EDUCATION The young make the mistake of thinking that education can take the place of experience... ...the old, that experience can take the place of education. Source unknown
TILLS AND AFTERS ARE TOUGH A young child is explaining to her family how well she is doing as she learns to tell time: "I know my 'o'clocks now, but I'm still having trouble with…
NUMBER LEAVEN The children were receiving religious instruction. Their teacher told them that Christians are the light of the world, the salt of the earth, and the leaven of society. The analogies of light and…
HEART TREASURES Some say, dedicate the heart and the money will follow; but our Lord put it the other way around. "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." If your treasure is…
NATIVE AMERICAN PERSPECTIVE A benefactor wanted the Indian perspective on Little Big Horn. He asked an Indian artist to draw a picture illustrating it. After months of waiting, he received his picture. In the center…
SAMPLES OF VIRTUE No one will ever know of your honesty and sincerity unless you give out some samples. Source unknown
SNAIL OR REINDEER A little girl was crawling in the grass while her mother was working in the yard. The child found a snail and watched its every move with fascination for the longest time.…
HOPE LIVES ON From the movie "Shawshank Redemption," Red, the main character, in his final word says, "Remember, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
WORDS OR PARAGRAPHS Man at pub to companion: "I had some words with my wife -- and she had some paragraphs with me!" Hoest, King Features
ELUSIVE PRESENT MOMENT Milan Kundera in The Art of the Novel says: "There would seem to be nothing more obvious, more tangible and palpable, than the present moment. And yet it eludes us completely. All…
THE HUMAN MACHINE An engineer in one of America's largest companies has described a human being this way: "Man is a complete self-contained, totally enclosed power plant, available in a variety of sizes, and reproducible…
ATHEIST FUNERALS Question: "What does one say at an atheist funeral?" Answer: "Good Luck! All dressed up and no place to go!"
FAMILY OF GOD MEMBERSHIP The slogan for a credit card: "Membership HAS its privileges!" gives a glimpse of an even greater privilege, that of a greater membership in the family of God. In this family...…
TRUE SUPERIORITY There is hope for any human being who stops boasting of mankind's superior brain and humbly takes comfort from the superior inventor who gave him that brain. -- Thor Heyerdahl
THE SPORTS GOD The announcement was recently made that the Cleveland Browns NFL professional football team was moving to Baltimore, Maryland -- after thirty years in Cleveland. Among the many Browns fans interviewed, one man…
FATE TAKES THE BLAME Frank and Ernest are walking past a sign that says: "Tonight's Topic: Predestination." Frank asks, "Do you believe in fate?" Ernest replies, "Sure, I'd hate to think that I turned out…
FINAL INEVITABILITY Dustin Hoffman said that he would want the following words put on his tombstone: "I knew this was going to happen!" Told to Bob Costas on a televised interview on March 9, 1995
MORE BULLETIN BLOOPERS Here are a few more bulletin bloopers. These bloopers came from a column by George Kellam: -- Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help. -- Thursday Night Potluck Supper. Prayer…
