STRANGE SPORTS SAYINGS Here is why sports scholarship is an oxymoron: You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle. -- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach That's so…
Sermon Illustrations
BAD COMMUNICATION A bachelor expresses his fear: "Before you know it, you're married. You whisper a few words at the altar, and you're committed for the rest of your life." His friend disagrees: "Don't worry.…
ARROGANT ASSUMPTIONS We must get rid of our arrogant assumption that it is the masses who can be led by the nose. As far as I can make out, the shoe is on the other…
PAINFUL PUNS Hangover: The wrath of grapes. Income Tax: Capital punishment. A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be. Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.…
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST BOOKS A few of these I would rather not use, but I will let you make those decisions for yourselves... 25. Things I Wouldn't Do for Money by Dennis Rodman 24. Human…
HORRID HEADLINES Here are a few of 1997's actual news headlines: 1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers…
A REJECTED GREETING CARD My tire was thumping; I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat....Sorry
NOTHING TO SAY There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say; unless you say it!
CALCULATING FRIENDSHIP Friendship is the comfort of feeling safe with a person and needing not to weigh one's thoughts or to measure one's words.
CAMPER COMMUNICATIONS Letter from Camp... Hello Mudduh, Hello Fahduh: We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood…
PLAY ON WORDS If lawyers are disbarred, and clergy defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, dry cleaners depressed, and computers be disputed?
COMMUNICATING IDEAS Communication means that an idea which I have in my mind passes through my lips (or fingers--in most art forms) and reaches the other person's mind. Adequate communication means that when it reaches…
EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION The difference between acceptable and exceptional communication is often a good illustration which clinches an important truth in the listener's mind for years. -- Leslie Flynn From Come Alive with Illustrations, by Leslie…
EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION Trust is the natural outgrowth of trustworthiness. So the highest-leverage thing we can do to create trust is to be trustworthy. -- Steven Covey
HEARING GOD THROUGH HIS PEOPLE He who can no longer listen to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God, either. -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
COPING WITH A DIFFICULT PERSON Coping with a difficult person is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be yourself. -- Anonymous
COMMUNICATION SOLUTIONS Figure out what went wrong, not who was wrong, when communication breaks down. -- Tom Nash
ZERO HERO Sunday, I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my…
HE DID GIVE HIS LIFE A woman approached the famed violinist Fritz Kreisler after one of his concerts and exclaimed, "I'd give my life to play as beautifully a you do." Kreisler responded, "I did."
NEVER CARRY A GRUDGE "I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing." -- Buddy Hackett, comedian A shorter version…
