THE STUFFINESS OF TIFFANY’S
Harpo Marx described the time he challenged Tiffany’s: The store was too stuffy for its own good, I told myself, and something had to be done about it. I bought a bag of fake emeralds, rubies and diamonds at Woolworth’s, then went to Tiffany’s. I asked to see some diamonds. While I looked at the tray of stones, I emptied the bag behind my back. Jewels went spilling and bouncing all over. Bells rang. Buzzers buzzed. Store detectives appeared, hustled out all the other customers and locked the doors. Meanwhile the whole sales staff, including the manager, in cutaway coat and striped trousers, were down on their knees retrieving my sparkling gems. When they were all collected, the manager saw they were phony. The attitude of Tiffany’s changed abruptly. The store detectives hustled me through the door with the recommendation that I never return. On the way out, I tipped the doorman a giant ruby. Harpo Speaks!
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