A recent seminary graduate with an advanced degree in sociology was called on to deliver a speech to a group of seniors in a retirement community. For what seemed like an eternity to some in…
Sermon Illustrations
A young girl was shopping in the supermarket with her grandfather. At the baked goods counter, grandfather selected several items, including a loaf of bread wrapped in plastic. Whereupon, the granddaughter removed the bread from…
Tongue in cheek, the inventor, philosopher, anthropologist, engineer, and architect Buckminster Fuller described how complex a human being is. Mr. Fuller's Human "Specification Sheet" reads as follows: (1) A Self-balancing, twenty-eight jointed, adapter based bi-ped;…
The following is a true story. A man named Joe and his wife Evelyn waited in line to board a plane for Chicago. The gate attendant announced over the loud speaker: "Anyone under six or…
YOU TELL ME I AM GETTING OLD You tell me I am getting old. I tell you that's not so! The "house" I live in is worn out, and that, of course, I know. It's…
Aging | Assurance | Defeat | Easter | Eternal Life | Heaven | Hope | Life | Resurrection | Salvation
AND WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? Mohammad Ali, former heavyweight boxing champion denied that he attempted another comeback at age 39 just to stay in the spot light. He said, "If I just wanted that,…
DESCENT INTO MEDIOCRITY "The church is filled with fifty-year-old men who started brilliantly, who worked in places of real prominence and in the process have lost the very ways of doing their work that give…
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN Almost everything hurts. What doesn't hurt doesn't work anymore. It feels like the morning after the night before, and you haven't been anywhere. All the names in your little…
PRAYER Leslie Weatherhead tells the story of an old Scot who was quite ill, and the family called for their Domini, or minister. As he entered the sick room and sat down, he noticed another…
LAUGHTER, THE BEST MEDICINE In a conversation with Woody Allen, Groucho Marx said he was often asked what he'd like people to be saying about him in a hundred years. "I know what I'd like…
AGING Do you get the cartoon strip The Wizard of Id in your paper? I often find some clever lines I can use from this strip by Parker and Hart. One day the little King…
AUTUMN IS IN THE AIR One of my favorite cartoon strips is Funky Winkerbean by Tom Batiuk. One I particularly liked showed two leaves in conversation with one another at the end of a branch.…
AUTUMN DAYS Oh, that I were as in the months of old, as in the days when God watched over me; when his lamp shone upon my head, by his light I walked through darkness;…
AGING Great-Aunt Lucy had become somewhat deaf, and a specialist suggested an operation to improve her hearing. But she promptly vetoed the idea, saying: "I'm 94 years old, and I've heard enough"
INDIVIDUALISM Sarah Adler, noted Jewish actress never was willing to admit to her true age. One day a newspaperman asked her, "Madam Adler, I don't mean to embarrass you, but would you mind telling me…
AUTUMN In a special issue of Ideals called Touched By The Seasons: Poetic Reflections From Ideals. I like autumn best of all, because its leaves are a little yellow, its tone mellower, its colors richer,…
SOME THINGS THAKE CAREFUL THOUGHT A reporter asked a man on his ninety-fifth birthday, "To what do you credit your long life?" The old timer responded, "Well, I'm not sure yet. My lawyer's negotiating with…
ADVANTAGES OF THE AGED One good thing about becoming ninety years old is that your're not subject to much peer pressure. Edward Bernays, Reader's Digest
AGE I was fired because of my age. I'll never make the mistake of being 70 again. Casey Stengel, Funny, Funny World
HEAVEN'S DEMOGRAPHICS "I must not think it strange if God takes in youth those whom I would have kept on earth until they were older. God is peopling eternity, and I must not restrict Him…
