AGING PRIVACY An elderly couple recalled the many vacations they had taken with another couple. For many years they had shared the same single-room cabin with this couple. When asked how they were able to…
Sermon Illustrations
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
PAINFUL PUNS Hangover: The wrath of grapes. Income Tax: Capital punishment. A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be. Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.…
NOT DEAD The best part about growing old is that you are not dead.
ULTIMATE ACCOMPLISHMENT I well remember Grandma Beemer's funeral from a number of years ago. Mrs. Beemer had been in a rest home for years. She had been in very poor health for quite some time.…
BRING BACK THE BACON There is a story of an older couple watching TV. The man stretches and says, "Honey, I think I'll go to the kitchen and get some ice cream. Would you like…
HOW MUCH ZIP An older woman filled out an application for residency in a retirement village, and was very carefully answering all the questions. After "zip," she printed firmly. "Excellent for my age"
THE TRUE MEASURE Don't count how many years you've spent, Just count the good you've done; The times you've lent a helping hand; The friends that you have won. Count your deeds of kindness; The…
TRUTH ABOUT CHURCHILL Even in his last years Winston Churchill liked to drop in at the House of Commons from time to time. One day when he was helped down the aisle to his seat…
AGING TRUTHS Things Just Ain't the Same Anymore Everything is further away than it used to be. It is twice as far to the corner. And I've notice that they've added a hill. I've given…
LOVING MEMORIES An elderly couple were sitting in their living room toward the end of the evening and were discussing some of the changes that had taken place as they grew older. The husband observed…
COUNT YEARS OR MAKE YEARS COUNT Love is not a matter of counting the years, but making the years count. -- Michelle St. Amand
WRONG WAY STREET As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a…
GRAND THEFT GRANDMA An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top…
And then there are those things that we will NEVER understand. Things like these I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it…
ROAD CLOSED A man was driving his sports utility vehicle when he came to a detour sign that read, "ROAD UNDER REPAIR." A little construction was not going to stop this man and his S.U.V.…
HYMN SELECTIONS One Sunday morning a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked them to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever…
NATURE, ART, & AGE Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
CHANGES IN MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
I WANT TO BE SIX YEARS OLD To Whom It May Concern, I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six-year-old again.…