PERSPECTIVE If a man has limburger cheese on his upper lip, he thinks the whole world smells.
Sermon Illustrations
THE PASTOR'S INVOLVEMENT WITH STEWARDSHIP A man called at the church and asked if he could speak to the Head Hog at the Trough. The Secretary said, "Who?" The man replied, "I want to speak…
BE SPECIFIC The story is told of a little boy who answered the home telephone. The caller was a salesman, and the following conversation took place: "Is your mother at home?" "No." "Is your father…
JUSTICE One winter day not so long ago a man went shopping at the local neighborhood mall. When he returned to his car he noticed a rather foul oder coming from under the hood and…
CARELESS APPEARANCE In Atlanta, a woman seeking a divorce complained that her husband was careless about his appearance. She said: "He hasn't showed up in two years." Funny, Funny World
HUMAN BEHAVIOR A couple went to a lumberyard to buy some 2x4's. The man at the yard said, "We don't have 2x4's but we have 4x2's." The husband said, "I'll have to talk to my…
DENOMINATIONAL DISTINCTIVES Two country fellows met on a back road one afternoon. One was going down the road with a possum-hunting dog and the other said to him, "How much will you take for the…
A VERSE FOR ALL OCCASIONS A young pastor had rung the doorbell at the home of one of his parishoners and was waiting to be received but no one came to the door. He sensed…
SELF-AWARENESS IS THE KEY When he was eighty-eight years old, the late Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once found himself on a train. When the conductor came by, Justice Holmes couldn't find his ticket,…
CHILDREN'S CANDID RESPONSES Our Kindergarten class went to the fire station for a tour and some instruction in fire safety. The fireman was explaining what to do in case of a fire. He said, "First,…
THE RIGHT MAN They were burying a rather unsavory character who had never been near a place of worship in his life. The services were being conducted by a minister who had never heard of…
IDENTITY CRISIS There is the story of a woman who, early one morning, made a mad dash out of the house when she heard the garbage truck pulling away. She was still in her bathrobe.…
POTENCY I was recently reminded of the old story of the man who had nine cats. One day his friend was visiting him and noticed that he had nine separate little kitty doors cut into…
THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM The pastor went to call on one of the elderly widows of the church. While visiting with her, he noticed a bowl of shelled peanuts on the coffee…
WHO BEATS WHOM? A judge called a young lad into his chambers. He announced to the boy that he had to make a decision as to which parent was to receive custody of him. The…
KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER A young salesman walked up to the receptionist and asked to see the company's sales manager. Ushered into the office, he said, "I don't supppose you want to buy any life insurance,…
REPRESSED SIN WILL FIND A WAY OUT When her daughters were very small girls, Mrs. Dwight Morrow gave a high tea at which one of the guests was to be the senior J. P. Morgan.…
OUR INHERITANCE I 'm not sure how excited you get about what I call tortured alliterations in sermons, but here's a set I used on the inheritance described in I Peter 1:3-4. Our inheritance is…
THE TENTH COMMANDMENT -- MODERN VERSION In Sunday school one day, the subject was the Ten Commandments, and the class had gotten up to the last one. When the nun asked if anyone could state…
COMPARISONS In 1930 Babe Ruth earned $80,000 -- a huge sum in those days. When asked if he thought it was fair that he receive more than President Hoover, he said, "Well, I had a…
