A PROFITABLE VENTURE A woman walked into a bank and asked to open a joint account. When asked if that joint account would be with her husband, she gasped and replied, "Oh no, couldn't I…
Sermon Illustrations
THE RIGHT SONG PREACHER TO ORGANIST - "When I finish my sermon, I'll ask for all those in the congregation who want to contribute four hundred dollars toward the church's mortgage to stand up. In…
FREELY GIVING: "God, you can have anything you can pry out of my hands!" All of the above short shots were
PLEDGED ALLOWANCE We recently received pledges for a special project which our church wanted to undertake. One grade school age girl made a fifty cent pledge. The morning following the pledge, the girl's parents were…
PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT My friend Stella, driving home from work each day, often noticed an old rocking chair sitting on the front porch of one of the homes that she passed. Sometimes an old…
OVERLOADED SOLDIERS or ONWARD CHRISTIAN SHOPPERS Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war, Stopping at each shop, to buy a little more. Christ, the Royal Master, leads against the foe, But with so much baggage,…
UNKNOWN BENEFICIARY One of my wealthier neighbors told me of the merriest Christmas he ever experienced. He said, "One Christmas Eve I locked my office door and started home, feeling the Spirit of Christmas had…
OBEDIENCE IS BETTER THAN PRESENTS How many observe Christ's birthday! How few his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments. From Poor Richard's Almanac, by Benjamin Franklin
NO SURPRISE My poor sister Teresa never had the opportunity to be surprised by her Christmas presents as a child. She wanted so badly to know what she was getting, she was willing to do…
HANDLING AN EXPLOSIVE SITUATION Each salesperson sells a different product and is consequently subject to different circumstances and practices. Here's how one salesperson handled his special product. As an explosives salesperson, Dan had to be…
HAVING THE FINAL SAY! Carefully backing into a parking lot space, the driver of a big, heavy old Rolls-Royce was angered when a teenager in a snazzy sports car zipped in and stole the place.…
HONEST OUTLAWS One big difference between outlaws and inlaws is that outlaws don't promise to pay it back.
TECHNOLOGY MADE RIGHT The following is from Bucky Fuller who is called the "godfather" of the Whole Earth Catalog... Humanity is acquiring the right technology for all the wrong reasons - and only as driven…
SEVEN POOR RICH MEN In 1928 a group of the world's most successful financiers met at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in Chicago. The following were present: - the president of the largest utility company -…
COSTLY CATCH Two men from Minnesota went fishing up in Canada. They only caught one fish so when they got back, one of them said, "I figured out that fish cost us $400." "Well," said…
PRICE OF EXPERIENCE When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money. And the person with the money will get experience. By Leonard Lauder, president of…
A DIFFERENT PLACE TO GO! Two fathers were discussing how each of their sons was doing in college. One father said, "My son is so smart that when he writes home I have to go…
ALMOST THE OLD WAY A certain church held a Sunday service patterned after those in Colonial America. The pastor dressed in long coat and knickers, and the congregation was divided by gender: men on the…
MINE FOREVER What I spent, is gone What I kept, is lost But what I gave away Will be mine forever. By Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, founder of AARP, Washington D.C., From Modern Maturity, February…
THE COSTLESS GIFT Two men were talking at the office one day. "Hey, this Sunday's Father's Day," said the first fellow. "My family makes a big fuss over me on Father's Day. My wife makes…
