MISPLACED OFFERING A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him…
Sermon Illustrations
FATHERS KNOW MOST A young boy was talking to his father about what little boys know and what their fathers know. The boy asked, "Do fathers always know more than their sons?" The boy's father…
COMFORTABLE QUEST Money can't find happiness, but it can make the quest a bit more comfortable.
DEFENDANT DID NOT LOOK A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably…
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The Do-It- Yourself Theological Construct Compose 10,000 impressive sentences. Select a phrase from each LINE (A, B, C, or D) to form statements which sound profound. 1. LINE A: A formal analysis will quickly show…
MONEY HABIT There is nothing so habit-forming as money. By Don Marquis, quoted by Edward Anthony in O Rare Don Marquis: A Biography
WHERE TO GET A POETIC LICENSE Jay Leno of "The Tonight Show," interviewed some people on the street for the April 2, 1998 showing. One question he asked them was where you go to get…
SHORT & SIMPLE SERMONS Haddon Robinson warns against overestimating the vocabulary of a congregation and underestimating its intelligence. In doing so he tells about an advertisement for a new soap in which "The alkaline element…
MURDER OR PERJURY At the trial, the prosecuting attorney asked the defendant if he commited the murder. The defendant said he did not. The attorney then asked the man if he understood the penalty for…
ADVICE ON HUMOR LENGTH And remember that the longer the story, the funnier it needs to be. Attention spans are short for a single point. Lengthy stories can end in disappointment at the punchline. Avoid…
HONOR OF THE NATION A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers. Remarks at the dedication of the Robert Frost Library,…
GOD & ME I must surrender my fascination with myself to a more worthy preoccupation with the character and purposes of God. I am not the point. He is. I exist for Him. He does…
WAR & GOD'S WILL War is what happens when we refuse to do the will of God. By Roy Nichols, a retired bishop of the United Methodist Church
INCONSIDERATE INFANTS In point of fact, we are all born rude. No infant has ever appeared yet with the grace to understand how inconsiderate it is to disturb others in the middle of the night.…
THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY All that one can do in this life is to embark on that journey to the centre, where the immanent God dwells, and to fight to continue that journey no matter how…
JOY ON THE OFFENSIVE When it comes to defining joy, there is a certain wildness, a near recklessness in its [The Bible] choice of words. Joy is framed in the positive: be, do, trust, risk,…
NOTHING IS ORDINARY An English artist named William Wolcott went to New York in 1924 to record his impressions of that fascinating city. One morning he was visiting in the office of a former colleague…
FILTHY RESTROOMS In one of his books Bruce Larson gives a remarkable example of humble service in telling about Gert Behanna, who wrote The Late Liz. Gert Behanna was converted at age sixty and became…
WAYS TO RUIN LIFE Leroy Eims recalling the words of Billy Graham at the funeral of Dawson Trotman, founder of The Navigators: There are three ways to destroy one's life: 1. Give in to the…
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REALLY A BLONDE My apologies to blondes. Nothing personal. I have a whole family of blondes, and they still thought it was funny. So I at least have THEIR permission. A blonde went to the…
