PEARL JAM LIGHT BULBS Question: "How many members of Pearl Jam does it take to change a light bulb?" Answer: "Change? We're not going to change for anyone! Do you hear me?" From Eddie Vedder,…
Sermon Illustrations
DREAM MOVIES Dreams are God's way of letting poor people go to the movies. -- Paul Rodriguez, comedian
COCKROACH CURSE The Arizona Republic on April 25, 1995, reported that when Steve Tran of Westminster, California closed the door on twenty-five activated bug bombs, he thought he had seen the last of the cockroaches…
THE ESCAPE KEY On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the ESC key! -- Glenn Wogstad
ANSWERS WISER THAN PRAYER Keep praying, and be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your prayers. -- William Culbertson
SATAN & PRAYER The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom,…
PASSIONATE PRAYER Some men's prayers need to be cut short at both ends and set on fire in the middle. -- Dwight L. Moody
HMO RULES Q: What does HMO stand for? A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to the concept pioneered by Dr. Moe Howard, who discovered that a…
ONE TRIFLING EXCEPTION It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. -- John Andrew Holmes
HAPPY PIT BULL Question: What has four legs and an arm? Answer: A happy pit bull.
MARK SEVENTEEN A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark chapter seventeen." The following…
COMPUTER CRASHES & CAR CRASHES If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years, a Rolls-Royce would cost $5, get 300 miles per gallon, and blow up once a year…
EARTH-SHAKING SERMON There was an Indian preacher out in New Mexico whose congregation was so scattered that he had to deliver his weekly sermons via smoke signals. It so happened that he was expounding the…
MOST WINSOME The blessed and inviting truth is that God is the most winsome of all beings and in our worship of Him we should find unspeakable pleasure. From The Pursuit of God, by A.…
LUTHER & THE DEVIL There is a legend of Martin Luther, that, during a serious illness, the Evil One entered his sick-room and, looking at him with a triumphant smile, unrolled a big scroll which…
HALF-HEARTED CONTROL Satan has used the half-hearted to control what the church does. By Milt Cunningham, Westbury Baptist Church, Houston, Texas
THE MIRACULOUS WAY The pastor goes to the session meeting, and the elders say, "Pastor we have big troubles. The roof needs to be replaced, the foundation is cracked, and our people don't have any…
DAFFYNITIONS ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with…
BEST THINGS IN WORST TIMES In the mid 1600s, Oliver Cromwell was attempting to obliterate the monarchy and the Anglican Church in England. During this period of British history, Anglican clergy were the primary targets…
TAKING NOTHING WITH YOU There may be an extra problem with taking it with you when you die--never even having it.
