BRUTAL SUCCESS John Steinbeck, a great American author, understands human nature. In his novel, Cannery Row, the character Doc speaks to his friend: "It has always seemed strange to me," said Doc, "the things we…
Sermon Illustrations
WHAT DENOMINATION? A lady went to the Post Office and asked for ninety-six cents worth of stamps. "What denomination?" asked the clerk. She answered, "I never knew it would come to this, but I'm a…
SYSTEM LEADERSHIP Management works in the system; leadership works on the system. -- Steven Covey
FAITH'S RESULTS Faith is the invisible energy that produces visible results. From church organist & lecturer, Betty Maltz
STRETCHING STRENGTH A man does not become a champion boxer by lying in the shade. He reaches the top by endless bag-punching, weight-lifting, rope skipping, grinding road-running and sparring with would-be champions. Which means: Man…
BURGER KING PRONOUNCED Two New Yorkers were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches (PRONOUNCED "NATCH-IT-OATCH-ES"), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until…
HEAVEN'S GROCERY STORE I was walking down life's highway a long time ago, One day I saw a sign that read Heaven's Grocery Store. As I got a little closer, the door came open wide,…
NO BROWNIES YET A little girl was just getting started in the Girl Scouts program. This was the second time she had been to her meetings. She came home and announced to her mother with…
DUMP RATS & HALL RATS A man on TV was talking about dirty politics. He said they used to go down to the city dump and shoot rats at night. He said "A rat, if…
I NEEDED TO DIE An unusual suicide note was found on the body of a man who was shot and killed by police after he pointed a toy gun at them in Long Beach, New…
SO FAMILIAR Bring on ourselves. A woman in a San Francisco convenience store had cashed six phony checks from the same forger within a two-week period. When quizzed about why she suspected nothing and kept…
OPPOSITION PRODUCES CHARACTER Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition, such as lifting weights, we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity. --…
UNHEALTHY DRUNK A man left a bar, got into his car and drove away. He was soon stopped by a police officer. The officer explained that he was testing drivers for drunken driving. "Would you…
THE GATE TEST U. S. Secretary of Education, Dr. William Bennett, was asked this question by a seventh grader: "How can you tell a good country from a bad one?" Secretary Bennett replied, "I apply…
EVERY MOTHER'S CHILD There is only one beautiful child in the world, and every mother has it.
TO WANT OR NOT TO WANT If you don't have everything you want, be thankful that you do not have everything that you don't want.
CHURCHILL MEETS HIS MAKER I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -- Winston Churchill on his 75th birthday D. J. Enright,…
WHAT'S BREAKABLE? An elderly lady who was mailing a Bible as a gift to a friend, took it to the Post Office. The clerk looked at the package, shook it, and then asked, "Is there…
SPOT OF SIN When I come to church on Sunday, I generally wear a clean, white shirt. Now, if my pen were to run and make even the smallest ink spot in the front of…
VIDEO RESCUE If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. -- Bobcat Goldthwait, comedian
