DON'T ASK THE WITNESS A gray-haired little old lady sprightly took the witness stand. The prosecutor began his interrogation. "Do you know me?" he asked. "I sure do," the woman answered. "I have lived in…
Sermon Illustrations
THICK FAULTS Faults are thick where love is thin. -- James Howell
EMPTY CAGES The most popular episode ever of The Andy Griffith Show was about a time when Opie shot and killed a mother bird. The cheeping of the baby birds, along with the counsel of…
ETCH-A- SKETC Htm TECHNICAL SUPPORT Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has a distorted display. What should I do? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has these funny little lines all over the screen.…
FAINT SAINTS A man in Louisiana invited his friends over to watch the football game at his house. While his friends were watching the game, the man brought in his dog to show his friends…
HELEN KELLER ON SIGHT & SOUND I have often thought that it would be a blessing if each human being was stricken blind and deaf for just a few days at some time during their…
NOT READY NOW An old cowboy decided to go to church one Sunday morning. When he got back to the ranch, several of the other cowboys gathered around to hear about his religious experience. "Well,"…
DEFENSIVE SEDING The State Highway patrolman pulled the man over, and he had the perfect reason for speeding. He said, "But officer, I wasn't speeding; I was just trying to stay a safe distance ahead…
LOVE & MONEY A high- quality diamond will cut into anything---especially a man's bank account. Love is an ocean of emotion surrounded by an expanse of expense.
JOB INSECURITY Insecurity is finding on your new job that your name is written on your office door in chalk, and there is a wet sponge hanging next to it.
GIVE THEM OUR AUNT A mother appealed to her children to care for orphan children. "These poor children don't have a mother, a father or even aunts and uncles. Would you children like to give…
ALL YOU CAN Do all the good you can by all the means you can in all the ways you can in all the places you can at all the times you can to all…
POOR MILLIONAIRES The teacher was teaching her class about honesty. She asked, "And what would you do if you found a purse with a million dollars inside of it?" One little boy in the class…
SLOW MEMORIES Two elderly women were discussing some of the problems encountered as they were growing older. One woman observed, "The worst thing about growing older is when you begin to lose your memory. I've…
HEIGHT OR LENGTH Two fellows were measuring a pole. One guy was holding it up, and the other was trying to run the tape up it. A man was driving by and saw what these…
INCLUDING GOD If God does not enter your kitchen, there is something wrong with your kitchen. If you cannot take God into your recreation, there is something wrong with your play. We all believe in…
CUTE HAND GRENADE A man in New Jersey found an ornamental object in his front yard that had apparently fallen from a passing vehicle. He was fascinated with its design and decided to fix it…
RECONCILING EVIL God is all- powerful. God is all-good. Terrible things happen. You can reconcile any two of these propositions with each other, but you can't reconcile all three. The problem of evil is perhaps…
DOWNGRADED BIBLE Instead of crying to God to bring their experience up to the standard of the Bible, they explain the Bible down to the level of their experience, and so never receive the glorious…
GOD'S ABILITY The ability of God is beyond our prayers, beyond our largest prayers! I have been thinking of some of the petitions that have entered into my supplications innumerable times. What have I asked…
