PAYBACK TIME There have been a handful of truly good commercials on television. Most of them we only see during those special broadcasts which feature the world's greatest commercials. A couple of years ago, Manitoba…
Sermon Illustrations
FAMILY FUN FUND A number of years ago, a Christian brother told me one particular way to actively involve the family in extra ministry functions that they may otherwise resent. He suggested that any money…
THINGS TO DO Frank is standing and reading a list on a bulletin board which says: "THINGS TO DO TODAY." The list contains only item: "1) See: things you should have done yesterday." From Frank…
KANGAROO PARENTS If God had wanted us to hover over kids, He'd have given us a pouch to store them in. -- Erma Bombeck
SPURGEON ON PARENTING In dibbling beans the old practice was to put three in each hole: one for the worm, one for the crow, and one to live and produce the crop. In teaching children,…
CHILD'S VIEW OF EGYPT The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live…
CHILDREN INTERPRET THE BIBLE The following is taken from an Associated Press release in The Daily Herald, November 15, 1997 edition: The most important commandment: "Thou shalt not lie. Your mother and God will find…
STANDING AT HEAVEN'S GATE I 'm afraid that some will be disappointed at the gates of heaven to find that there is no stand-by policy in place. It is appointed once to die and THEN…
CEREAL KILLER Question: What do you call a man who kills Captain Crunch? Answer: A serial (cereal) killer!
READING FEEDS BRAINS Read. Brains get hungry, too! Source unknown
SIMPLE PROOFREADERS The illiteracy rate in the United States has never been higher. In fact, we now understand that they have had to hire proofreaders at the M&M factory!"
LIBERTY FERTILIZED "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure." -- Thomas Jefferson From correspondence from Thomas Jefferson to William…
LAWYER IN THE BELLY How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer? She has an extreme craving for baloney.
SAKING AND LISTENING Married life is frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks, and the man listens. In the third year,…
SOLD HIS HOMEWORK Josh Schwartz was a University of South Carolina student who sold a screenplay to Columbia Tri-Star for $350,000. This was his comment on the sale: "I feel like I basically sold a…
SILLINESS Recently, USA Today carried an article detailing how silly answers are slowing down the census. One man, for instance, noted that his wife gets to work on her broom. Another fellow listed his state…
THE NICE CREED The Reverend Kenneth Hunter, an Episcopal priest in California, writing about the consequences of doctrinal liberalism in the April issue of First Things: "There will be no point in repeating weekly the…
CHOICES & CONSEQUENCES Our lives are made up of a few years of choices and an eternity of consequences. Michael Hodgin
THE REAL HELL Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. By comedian Jim Carrey
MEANINGLESS STATISTICS Statistics have always had a strange fascination. For example, David Letterman once announced that three out of four people make up seventy-five percent of the entire population.
