LAYING OR LYING A gal from the city asked an old farmer, "Which is correct grammatically: to say a hen is 'setting' or 'sitting'?" The farmer replied, "I guess I don't know that one, miss,…
Sermon Illustrations
GODFATHER SALES Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a car salesman? Answer: An offer you can't understand.
GREAT HEARTS FROM GREAT TROUBLES Great hearts can only be made by great troubles. -- C.H. Spurgeon
EXCUSE ME A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident…
SAY SOMETHING IN FRENCH It was the final day of a three year French course. The teacher had worked hard to teach his students to communicate fluently in French. The teacher excitedly asked one of…
VALID OR SOUND ARGUMENTS In the study of logic, there is one significant difference between a valid argument and a sound argument: the truth! Both arguments may have conclusions that consistently follow from the premises…
NO WORRY LEFT The citizens of Chelm used to spend a lot of time worrying--so much time, in fact, that they started to worry about how much time they spent worrying. The Grand Council of…
I WANT TO LIVE Today, Lord, I'm 80, and there's so much I haven't done I hope, dear Lord, you'll let me live until I'm 81. But then, if I haven't finished all I want…
INSIDE INFORMATION A high school physiology teacher in a small Missouri town received a letter from an angry parent of one of his students. The letter read like this: "I do not want my daughter…
CREATED TO SERVE God has created me to do Him some definite service; God has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another. I have a mission...Therefore I will trust him.…
SNT OUT OF EXISTENCE Germany will militarize herself out of existence, England will expand herself out of existence, and America will spend herself out of existence. -- Lenin
TOP SACRED A cartoon appeared in a magazine a few years ago showing a monk sitting at a desk sorting papers. The monk was filing the papers by placing them in one of three wire…
STAKES ARE SO SMALL University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. -- Henry Kissinger
COMPLETE AWAKENING What Christians hope for is not a pleasant dream but a complete awakening, compared to which our present existence will look like troubled sleep. From The Life of the World to Come: Near-Death…
SALVATION POEM Life is shot Death is sure Sin is the cause But Christ is the cure Poem used by the Power Team in their evangelistic invitation each night
RENT FIRST A sinner has to repent first; otherwise forgiveness makes no sense. That's why the lost must first realize they cannot rescue themselves; otherwise salvation makes no sense. That's why love can only be…
WHERE GOD AIN'T He was just a little lad, and on a certain Sunday, was wandering home from Sunday School and dawdling on his way. He scuffed his shoes into the grass; he found a…
RELEASE FROM BITTERNESS If bitterness grips you, forgiveness will release you.
NATION GONE UNDER If we ever forget that we are "one nation under God," then we will be a nation gone under." -- President Ronald Reagan
SOLOMON'S TEMPLE Question: Where was Solomon's temple? Answer: On his head.
