TWO SIDES TO EVERY BOX Question: How many sides does a box have? Answer: Two -- the inside and the outside.
Sermon Illustrations
HOW TO WIN A RACE Question: What is the best way to win a race? Answer: Run faster than anyone else.
CAUSE OF BALDNESS Question: What causes baldness? Answer: Lack of hair.
COUNTING RIBS Some things you just can't learn from the Bible. Word has it that Eve would get so jealous of Adam that she would count his ribs every night when he got home.
BETTER TO THE END In addition to telling me that they want me around a long time, my children also like to cheer me up by saying, "You look good, Dad." Strangely enough, the older…
DOUBLE OR NOTHING A man who was never known for his intelligence returned home after a night out with his friends. He seemed quite disgruntled. His wife asked him what was troubling him. "Oh, I…
SWALLOWED A HORSE A man who told his doctor he had swallowed a horse was referred to an associate who was a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was familiar with this malady and told the man that…
BIRD EXRT A fellow had two parrots and he wanted to know which was male and which was female. A man standing near said, "I am a bird expert, and I can tell you. If…
SECH OF THE UNKNOWN TAXPAYER TWO SCORE AND SOME YEARS AGO, our fathers brought forth upon this nation a new tax, conceived in desperation and dedicated to the proposition that all men are fair game.…
BISHOP'S LAST DIRECTIONS Tell my priests, when I am gone, O'er me to shed no tears, For I shall be no deader then Than they have been for years. Source unknown
BOY GEORGE ON LIFE Very often, when we reach...success, we find ourselves...disappointed. And that's when you try to fill the hull, the void, with drugs, or illicit sex. ...What I've realized is that nothing outside…
PRIMATE INTELLIGENCE QUESTION: If you are in a room with three monkeys, one holds a banana, one has a book and the other a pencil, which one is the smartest primate in the room? ANSWER:…
KNOW HARDSHIP She who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in…
POPPINS FRESH Mary Poppins was traveling home but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly…
FAKING IT Luther E. Smith is professor of church and community at Emory University's Candler School of Theology. He had this to say in a speech to students about living honestly: "Faking it for a…
DIETER'S PRAYER Lord, grant me the strength that I may not fall/into the clutches of cholesterol./At polyunsaturates, I'll never mutter,/for the road to hell is paved with butter./And cake is cursed and cream is awful,/And…
Assistance | Burden | Communication | Computers | Humor | Knowledge | Logic | Stupidity | Technology
WORD-NOT-SO-RFECT Technician: "Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Technician: "What sort of trouble?" Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the…
THE MONKEY'S VIEWPOINT Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree/Discussing things as they're said to be./Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,/There's a certain rumor that can't be true-- That man descended from…
TRUTH QUOTES I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I speak the truth, and they never believe me. -- Camillo Di Cavour The way some people stretch it, you would think that there was…
A BETTER VIEW Since my house burned down, I now own a better view of the rising moon. -- Masahide
