HEADLINE BLOORS/ Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Agree Airplane Was Too Close to Ground, Investigators Report Safety Experts Say Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Six Months in Violin Case Iraq Head…
Sermon Illustrations
NO RSECUTION The trouble with Christians is no one wants to kill them anymore. -- Bruce Morgan
TROUBLES THAT NEVER HAPNED When I look back on all my worries, I remember the story of the old man on his deathbed who said that he had a lot of trouble in his life,…
TWO LIFE QUOTATIONSI have always resonated to two quotations: "Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived" and "Life is what happens to us while we are making other…
LONELY LEADERS To be omnipotent but friendless is to reign. -- Percy Bash Shelly
FIRST RULE OF HOLES The first rule of holes is: When you're in one, stop digging! From Gene Sikkink, Arizona City, Arizona
ATHEISTIC SEARCH The reason an atheist cannot find God is the same reason a burglar cannot find a policeman. (Proverbs 28:14) - - Eddie Eddings
GOLF TORTURE For those who do not think golf is a torturous sport, try spelling it backwards: FLOG! Adapted from a submission by John Fitts, Palm Harbor, Florida
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY POLITICS A young couple were unable to resolve a heated argument. The husband finally proposed a truce by saying, "I'll tell you what, I will admit that I am wrong, if you will…
SOAR OR CREEP One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar. -- Helen Keller
BAD ADVERTISING Mixing bowl set for sale: designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
NO NEWS TODAY One Sunday afternoon a five-year-old offered to go out and get the afternoon paper for her mother. Mom smiled and said, "Thank you very much, but there isn't any paper today." The…
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT There's more than one way to skin a cat. In fact, when I was a kid, my friend down the street knew sixteen ways to do it.
MATURING JUDGMENTS What youth deemed crystal, age finds out was dew. - - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
THE MOST & THE LEAST Make the very most of all you've got and make the very least of what you can't get yet! From Letters to Karen by Charlie Shedd
UNFORGIVING RECORD We are told that the writer, H. G. Wells, came from an unhappy home. His parents quarreled constantly. His mother had no regard nor respect for her husband, resented him deeply and ventilated…
BIG GOLD FENCE A Texan and a Kentuckian were trying to outdo the other in boasting of the wealth of their respective states. The fellow from Kentucky bragged, "In the State of Kentucky we have…
SECOND OPINION My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. -- Walter Matthau
Alcohol | Burden | Chemical Abuse | Errors | Guilt | Humor | Labor | Mistakes | Refreshments | Typos
MISPLACED SPACE A space can be a dangerous thing. One church secretary realized the "misplaced space" problem when she picked up her bulletin on Sunday morning--the one she had typed on Thursday morning. She read:…
STUDENT EXCUSES The Toronto Star invited teachers to submit excuses they had received from their students. They received these examples: One imaginative student... explaining why he was late said: "I was kidnapped by aliens and…
