THAT CREATURE DAD A son looks at his mother's new fur coat and says, "Imagine how that helpless creature must have suffered just so that you could have that coat!" His mother retorts, "That's quite…
Sermon Illustrations
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE Natural talent, intelligence, a wonderful education -- none of these guarantees success. Something else is needed: the sensitivity to understand what other people want and the willingness to give it…
MONEY STILL GOES FAR They say that money doesn't go as far as it used to. That's not necessarily true. It's just that more of it goes in a different direction; to Washington D.C.
TIME OF WORRY Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.
CONSCIENCE OR CONSCIOUSNESS Consciousness is when I am aware of something; Conscience is when I wish I wasn't.
A STRONGER DEFENSE Robert Watson-Watt discovered a method of sending out electromagnetic energy to be directed at incoming enemy aircraft. The British Government wanted him to develop some kind of death-ray, but he finally convinced…
NO JUDGMENT SEAT JURY There is not going to be a jury at the judgment seat of Christ. -- Warren Wiersbe From Warren Wiersbe, Moody Pastors' Conference Guideline Book, 1994, pg. 4
OUR JOB IS TO SIN A young boy was explaining basic Christian theology to his younger sister: You see, it was Jesus' job to die for our sins; it's our job to sin.
RETAINED AS WITNESSES God retained NONE of us as lawyers. He called ALL of us as witnesses!
KING ME In checkers the main objective for victory is not to break your back row. However, everyone inevitably does. When you do, you must fill the hole with a king which has been to…
AVOIDING CRITICISM It's easy to avoid criticism. All you have to do is say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. Adapted from a submission by David Rushton
UNFINISHED CHRISTIANS Robert S. Smith doesn't finish what he starts. And he figures that is good for business. Smith is owner of company that sells unfinished church furniture: altars, communion tables, that sort of thing.…
CATHOLIC COP An Irish cop stopped a speeding car. The driver was a priest. Putting away his citation book, the cop said, "Father, I just stopped you to tell you there's a Protestant cop at…
STOLEN PLEDGES The sexton ran into the rabbi's apartment near the temple and said excitedly, "Rabbi, somebody broke into the synagogue office yesterday and stole $80,000 in pledges!"
CHURCH COMMERCIAL TOO LONG The little boy returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went. He said, "The music was nice but the commercial was too long."
MESSY WAY TO FAME Child to mother: "My teacher thinks I'm going to be famous. She said all I have to do is mess up one more time and I'm history." From Better Families
NOT TOO GOOD OR BAD FOR CHURCH One thing about a church: you're never too bad to come in and you're never too good to stay out.
ONE PARDON ENOUGH As Lincoln was walking down a corridor in the War Department building, an army officer in a hurry barged straight into him. When the man saw who it was, he offered, "ten…
NAME A BABY GRANDMA A mother was explaining to her preschool daughter how families work. She told her daughter that when she was a baby, her mother was Grandma, and when Grandma was a baby,…
WE NEED A BRIDGE Trying to work out our own salvation is as ridiculous as trying to jump across the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle - can't be done. Some years ago Evil Knievel, a…
