A sign seen on a businessman's desk: "MY DECISION IS MAYBE... AND THAT'S FINAL!"
Sermon Illustrations
Did you ever hear about the church member who attends church occasionally to discount his blessings?
Some church members are so introverted they can't even lead a silent prayer.
Many church members have enough religion to make them decent citizens but not enough to make them dynamic Christians.
Then, there are too many church attenders, who could appropriately begin all church services by singing: "Nothing in my hand I bring... simply to the cross I cling..."
There are too many church members who can be described like the Missouri farmer describes his mule: "Awfully backward about going forward."
By the time a man can afford to buy one of those exotic little sports cars, he's too fat to get into it.
Then, there's one great flaw in our current jury system -- it's scary to realize that your fate is in the hands of twelve people who could not figure out how to get excused from…
In today's world, a jury is a body of men and women selected to decide which of the contestants had the better lawyer.
Too bad, but true, isn't it, that we judge ourselves by our best intentions and others by their worst faults?
A really good golfer is one who goes to church on Sunday, first.
Gossip is the one thing that is always brewing at coffee break.
One nice thing about bores is that they usually don't talk about other people.
Preacher... beware of the church member with an open mouth and a closed pocketbook.
Confidence is simply the inner feeling you have before you really understand the problem.
Regarding my age... it's just that I have too much sand in the bottom of my hourglass.
Junk is something you throw away about three weeks before you need it.
Be careful of the kind of rut you choose... you may be in it for the rest of your life.
Too many people are like blisters... they don't show up until the work is all done.
Money is not everything... there are also credit cards, debit cards, bank cards, money orders, certified checks, and travelers checks.
