DEAD PAN CHRISTIANS
Once upon a time many church-goers suspected anything funny was subversive. Yesterday’s pilgrim didn’t dare to clown and Plymouth squeezed itself into a poker face. We’re always photographed saying “cheese” but a Winthrop wouldn’t have unlaced a smile even for his heirloom portrait. Those old sobersides really scrambled goodness with solemnity. They weren’t as dreadful as we are determined to make them, for they knew where frivolity leads. But the Calvinist was so afraid of fun’s consequences that he tried, at his fanatic worst, to wipe off every smile, put a stop to dancing and turned off the organ music. He wouldn’t let artists play with color on canvas or in stained glass any more…so that the Apostles looked as dead pan as cigar store Indians. David A. Redding
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