TEACHING KIDS At the hockey game, I was rinkside when one of the players rammed into the boards. As he struggled to regain his balance, he gasped, "There must be an easier way to make…
Sermon Illustrations
BRIGHTENING THEIR DAY It happened the day after the 22 cent stamp went into effect. My wife was in a long line at the local Post Office. Everybody wanted 22 cent, D or 2 cent…
HOW TO SINK A SERMON Let me sink this fortnight's sermon by starting with a long quotation. (Just kidding: we don't want it to sink!) W. B. J. Martin: "Last Sunday, I heard a young…
HARD BALL COMPETITION, ACADEMIC STYLE In Clearwater, Florida, twins Robin and Cathy Donovan, have filed suit to prevent a fellow Seminole High School senior from joining them at the top of the class. The 17-year-old…
PREPARATION One day a young man lamented about his speech impediment. You see, he had a terrible problem with stuttering. He determined to go visit a renowned speech therapist in his city. The therapist had…
CREDIT PHILOSOPHY One Alaska storekeeper's philosophy regarding credit: "You ask for credit, we don't give you -- you get mad. We give you credit, you don't pay -- we get mad. Better you get mad."…
LAUGHTER, THE BEST MEDICINE In a conversation with Woody Allen, Groucho Marx said he was often asked what he'd like people to be saying about him in a hundred years. "I know what I'd like…
SAD BUT TRUE I liked the cartoon I saw in Partnership magazine for spouses of pastors. It showed the television news commentator delivering the following message: "Fire completely destroyed the parsonage of the Maple Avenue…
DANGEROUS TRICKS John Turpin, pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Oakland, California, told this true story at a recent Pastor's Conference at Asilomar Conference Grounds. It seems that two Presbyterian denominational executives were out…
SPECIFICATIONS FOR A HUSBAND -- TALL ORDER When Ruth Bell was a teenage girl going off to Korea for schooling from her childhood home in China she fully intended to be a confirmed old maid…
MOVING UP Members of the Methodist Women's Church Circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were disturbed because a widowed church member and her three small daughters were staying away from services. Finding the…
HONEST DEALINGS A client went to his attorney and said: "I am going into a business deal with a man I do not trust. I want you to frame an air-tight contract which he can't…
TIMING FOR TRUTH One of my favorite Momma cartoons (by Mel Lazarus) shows Momma sitting on the couch with her old geezer friend Mr. K. who comes to court her. Depressed, he pours out his…
MUDDLED TRUTH Another Momma cartoon strip shows Mr. K. complimenting Mrs. Hobbs as follows: "You always look so young to me, Mrs. Hobbs. May I inquire as to your age?" Momma comes back with "Surely,…
CATTY REMARKS Angela was thrilled with her engagement ring and lost no time showing it to the girls at the office. "It must be reassuring for you to know," meowed one of them, "that he's…
MISSIONARY FARE Along the same line of missionaries and the strange food and other conditions they are faced with and the needs for a diplomatic atmosphere -- here's a few lines on the topic from…
CANDOR The following item was seen in a personal ad in the New York City Village Voice as reported in Reader's Digest: "I am 32, 6 feet tall, handsome, well-built, athletic, intelligent, absolutely amazing and…
IN THE PUBLIC EYE Christian celebrities face the problem of knowing how to be both real and also live in a glass house. In Patricia Cornwell's excellent biography of Ruth Bell Graham she tells about…
BE SPECIFIC The story is told of a little boy who answered the home telephone. The caller was a salesman, and the following conversation took place: "Is your mother at home?" "No." "Is your father…
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS Sam Findley decided it was time to retire from the garment business. So he called in his son Mervyn and gave him the news and a bit of advice: "Son, it's…
