SHORT SHOT A sign carried by a hitchhiker: "Whither Thou Goest, I Will Go."
Sermon Illustrations
SHORT SHOT A Minneapolis man told his pastor that he was leaving the church because he finally looked into that book the pastor was always citing and he noted, "It has all that stuff about…
LAWYERS QUESTION: What is the difference between an accident involving a rabbit and a car accident involving a lawyer? ANSWER: There are skid marks running up to the rabbit. For legal reasons, no one claimed…
IF THY SERMON OFFENDS THEE A preacher came to the breakfast table with a cut on his cheek. His wife asked him what had happened. He replied that he was concentrating on his sermon while…
OUR PURPOSE We are not storerooms but channels; We are not cisterns but springs, Passing our benefits onward, Fitting our blessings with wings, Letting the water flow outward To spread o'er the desert forlorn; Sharing…
MOVIE CUE A small boy went to the movies with his still smaller brother and, after they'd seated themselves, asked, "Can you see, Willie?" "Nope," was the reply. "Well," said the older brother, "just laugh…
UP OR DOWN "You must be brave to come down in a one hundred- mile per hour gale like this in a parachute," the farmer said to the young soldier. "I didn't come down like…
SECRET OF SHORTER DAYS Employee to irate boss: "Of course I have a good reason for being late! It makes the day seem shorter."Is this why some people are habitually late for church?
THE COMPANY YOU KEEP General William Westmoreland was once reviewing a platoon of paratroopers in Vietnam. As he went down the line, he asked each of them a question: "How do you like jumping, son?"…
A TRADITION ENDED "There is a story about a family who had a treasure. It had been handed down through several generations. It was a genuine antique vase. It was kept on the mantel in…
TO LATE TO TELL Boss to tardy employee: "You're twenty minutes late again! Don't you know what time our people start work here?" Employee: "No sir, they've always already started by the time I get…
BEST FOR ME How often I've been put to test To make the best of second- best, Only to wake one day and see The second-best was best for me From The Gift of Wonder,…
BURIED POTATOES A young boy was helping his grandfather dig potatoes. After a while, the child began to tire. "Grandpa," he asked wearily, "what made you bury these things anyway?" From Sunshine Magazine, August 1973
FRIENDSHIP IN SUFFERING I heard Dr. Steven Brown recently give the following quote and thought it might be helpful. "Jimmy Durante once said, I couldn't warm up to that guy if we were cremated together."…
PLURALITY OF WORDS The question of the correct plural of the word "mongoose" was solved by a gentleman who wanted a pair of these interesting and affectionate creatures. He wrote to a dealer: "Sir, please…
USE THE SWITCH One day I went down into my basement to the distressing sight of the early stages of a flood. The toggle switch on the sump pump had died. Consequently, the sump pump…
THE PROFANITY OF HOMELESSNESS A pastor who was known for his long sermons got up one Sunday morning to preach. He preached the shortest sermon he had ever delivered, and yet one of the most…
THE CHRIST OF THE GHETTO "It's awfully dark in here," I said to one confined; "Are you not lonely here and hungry half the time?" Her answer startled me As she lay on her bed;…
WANTING TO BELONG There's an old story about a little boy who was riding across town on a city bus. He was huddled close to a very well-dressed lady and was swinging his legs back…
POOR RICH MAN Joseph Emerson Eaton, 38, a member of a prominent New England family, was found dead just outside the doorway of the Carl's Jr. restaurant on Market Street in San Francisco. Eaton grew…
