CHRISTMAS JOKES Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll. Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A. Snowflakes. Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? A.…
Sermon Illustrations
PROTESTING SANTA Our friend, Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes is writing a letter to Santa Claus. "Dear Santa, Every year at this time I send you a list of what I want for Christmas and…
A DIETER'S CHRISTMAS Twas the night before Christmas and all 'round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care /in hopes that my…
GOD'S HOPE TO THE HOPELESS God with us! What an amazing thought--the very God of the universe in our midst. The manger in Bethlehem cradles a King--the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And,…
HARDER TO BE A VIRGIN Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.…
POLITICALLY CORRECT SANTA CLAUSE ' Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck . . . How to live in a world that's politically correct? /His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", /"Vertically…
HO-HO-HO QUESTION: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? ANSWER: So he can ho-ho-ho.
AL GORE CHRISTMAS QUESTION: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct? ANSWER: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.
DEBT NOT OWED He came to pay a debt he didn't owe... ...because we owed a debt we couldn't pay. From a Christmas card, sent by Steve Morrison
SPECIALIZED LOVE If Jesus was a specialist in loving only perfect people, then he would have been out of business long ago.
HANDS Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nurnberg, lived a family with children. Eighteen! In order to merely keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of…
CHRISTMAS DISTRACTIONS During WW II the US Office of Strategic Services (OSS) devised a simple test wherein the candidate was told to build a simple frame structure out of notched sticks and to use two…
MISSISSIPPI MEMORIES I wish more than anything that I could be in Mississippi for that is home to me to talk to old friends and strangers in the way. I wish I could take a…
PONTIUS THE PILOT Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Little Johnny's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked…
SUBORDINATE CLAUS QUESTION: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? ANSWER: A subordinate claus.
M R. & MRS. CHRISTMAS QUESTION: What is Father Christmas' wife called? ANSWER: Mary Christmas
GOD'S INVASION Christmas is an invasion... ...God's into the human race/history.
GERMAN SHEPHERD CHRISTMAS Dolly, the little girl in Family Circus comes walking into the house with a script in her hands and says, "I'm going to play Mary in the Christmas play, and Billy's a…
GOD ENTERS OUR SUFFERINGS In the Old Testament, we find the idea that God enters into the sufferings of His people. "In all their afflictions, He was afflicted." The relation of God to the woes…
CHRISTMAS WISHES Friends at home and friends afar /These my Christmas wishes are /Loved ones near and those away /Peaceful be your Christmas day /Comfort Lord and the sick and sore To the weary, strength…
