SUPERIOR PERCEPTIONS Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Sermon Illustrations
WISHING WELL WORKS A husband and wife had not been getting along for several years. They went to a counselor to see if there was any hope for their marriage. The counselor encouraged the unhappy…
MOTHERS & EVOLUTION If progressive evolution is accurate, then why do mothers still have only two hands?
TOP TEN SIGNS OF MINISTRY BURN-OUT 1 0. You're so tired, you now answer the phone with "Now What!?" 9. Your board members call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Stop asking…
TROUBLE WITH TROUBLE The trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out as a whole lot of fun. -- Anonymous
PARADISE FOR THE BRAIN Your library is your paradise. -- Erasmus
WHAT POSSESSES YOU That which you cannot give away, you do not possess. It possesses you. Ivern Ball
STRANGE PRINTS IN THE SAND One night I had a wondrous dream, One set of footprints there were seen, The footprints of my precious Lord, But mine were not along the shore. But then some…
CHANGE OF DIET Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died…
TINY LOAF OF SILVER Long ago, there was a great famine in Germany, and those who were poor suffered severely from hunger. A rich man who had great compassion sent for twenty children and told…
OPEN OPPORTUNITIES When one door closes, another opens; but often we look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham…
AM I DRIVING? Two elderly women were out driving in a large car -- both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,…
PUSH OVER GRANDMA When his grandmother visited, two-year-old Kevin saw that she would cater to his every whim. His mother commented that his grandmother was "a real pushover." The next morning when Kevin's mother asked…
SO LOST A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and…
LESS EFFICIENT WIFE An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine…
PLUS A CONSTANT Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant. They were arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. The first mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate while the…
MOM BORN TOO EARLY A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung…
GETTING FEEDBACK It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it. -- Steven Covey
NO CONFUSION ON FUSION The word "fusion" refers to a coalescence of materials, a blending of them together, so that they form a unit. It comes from a Latin word which means "to melt" and,…
WHICH THIEF ON THE CROSS An old preacher once warned against procrastination in seeking salvation. He was convinced that his hearers should not wait or delay, hoping to receive Christ at the last moment of…
