BEEPER BACK UP A little boy and his mother were in the check-out line at the grocery store. There was an enormous man who was standing in front of them. When the man's pager began…
Sermon Illustrations
EARNING A PROPHET Question: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Answer: Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
PLUMBERS & PHILOSOPHERS I like this quote from John Gardner. He writes,"An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society that scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity,…
FAME & FAMILY Fame is name recognition by the nameless masses, but family is knowing you are loved by those closest to you. For some people it is far more important to be popular than…
GOD AS OUR FATHER To call "Father" is not to invoke an outdated archetype of patriarchal culture. Rather, it is to be reminded that the One to whom we pray is the one who made…
THE MAN WHO HELD THE GIRL Along the line of the psalmist's wisdom, when the father and mother forsake their children, the Lord will take them up. The following story--whether actual or fictitious-- illustrates this…
SHORT SHOTS 1. A joint checking account is never overdrawn by the wife, it is just underdeposited by the husband. 2. If I had kept my mouth shut, I wouldn't be here: the sign under…
DEAD CATS IN HEAVEN A boy's father walks into his little girl's room to console her about her cat that was run over by a car. Her father took the girl in his arms and…
PAINFUL RIDE A husband and wife went to the carnival. The wife wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, but her husband would get sick to his stomach. The woman took the ride by herself. The…
SIBLING ABILITIES Children at a day care center were telling each other about things their siblings could do. One child bragged, "My brother rides horses!" Another said, "My sister takes aerobics." "My sister takes gymnastics,"…
GOD USES ATHEISTS My grandmother, who lived in Tucson, was well-known for her faith and lack of reticence in talking about it. She would go out on the front porch and say, "Praise the Lord!"…
DENIED TAX DEDUCTIONS Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst…
SHARING IS AN UPHILL STRUGGLE A lot of times we are too selfish to share. We're like the little boy whose mother was watching her two sons going up and down the hill on a…
NO WRONG WAY TO PROPOSE A young man had been seeing a girl for several months. He wanted to ask her to marry him but he couldn't get up the nerve. Finally, he asked his…
CHASTITY & DIVORCE RATES USA Today reports a new study which says that couples who live together before marriage have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. "Conventional wisdom suggests cohabitation serves…
WOMAN WITHOUT An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The…
INSATIABLE WIFE Two down-and-outers sat on a park bench discussing better days. "I had a glorious future at one time, man. I know that may be hard to believe, but it's true. I was a…
NOT THE NEXT DIAPER After bringing their first baby home from the hospital, the wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next…
SETTLE UP OR DOWN Some men marry poor girls to settle down, and others marry rich ones to settle up.
STUCK WITH FAMILIES We may be stuck with the family--at least until someone invents a sustainable alternative--but the family, with its deep, impacted tensions and longings, can hardly be expected to be the moral foundation…
